Calming Your Child’s Fear about the Fires

When wildfires break out, it’s not only homes and landscapes that are affected — it’s also our sense of safety. Children are especially sensitive to the sudden uncertainty, the orange skies, and the stories they hear from adults or see on the news. As parents, it can be heartbreaking to watch fear take hold and not know what to say or do.

At Calm Again Counseling, we want to help you feel grounded and equipped to support your child. You can comfort your child and help them process fear with steady reassurance, clear information, and simple, calming tools that restore a sense of safety — both emotionally and physically.

Keep Children Physically Safe First

Before we talk about emotional reassurance, the most important thing you can do for your child is to ensure their physical safety. Children feel calmer when they see that the adults around them are in control of the situation.

If wildfires are nearby or the air quality is poor, limit outdoor activities and close windows. Use an air purifier if you have one, or seal a single room to create a clean-air space. Encourage your child to wear a well-fitting mask outdoors if smoke is visible. If local authorities issue an evacuation order, follow it promptly and speak calmly as you gather essentials — your child will take emotional cues from your tone and actions.

During the process, try to keep daily rhythms intact as much as possible — consistent meal and sleep times help the nervous system regulate, even when surroundings change.

If you need to evacuate

If your family must leave home, pack one small comfort item for your child — a stuffed animal, blanket, or photo — along with medications and essentials. Familiar items anchor children during disorienting moments. Let them know what’s happening in simple language: “We’re going to stay somewhere safe until the fire is out.” Once you’ve reached a safe place, help them set up a small space of their own, even if temporary.

Explain the Fire in Age-Appropriate Words

How you talk about the fires depends on your child’s age and understanding. Honesty helps, but so does keeping information brief and reassuring. Children cope best when they can predict what’s coming next and trust that adults are keeping them safe.

Preschool (ages 2–6)

Young children don’t need complex explanations. A few sentences are enough:
“There’s a fire far away, and the helpers are putting it out. We’re safe right now.”
It’s normal for preschoolers to cling more or ask the same question repeatedly — repetition helps them feel safe. Offer calm, consistent answers each time.

Elementary age (ages 7–11)

Children in this stage want a bit more detail and may overhear conversations or news. Use facts without dramatizing:
“The fire burned some trees, and firefighters are working to stop it. We’re keeping the air clean inside and staying together until it’s better.”
Invite them to share what they’ve heard or seen. Correct misinformation gently and remind them of the helpers involved.

Teens

Teenagers are often aware of the broader impact — environmental loss, displaced families, or climate concerns. They may feel anxious or hopeless. Give them space to talk and validate their feelings:
“It makes sense that this feels heavy. You care deeply, and that shows empathy.”
Encourage action if it helps — volunteering, collecting supplies, or writing notes of support can transform helplessness into purpose.

Limit Media Exposure and Control the Narrative

Children don’t benefit from repeated images of disaster. Even brief news clips can intensify fear. Turn off the TV and limit social media when fire coverage dominates the headlines. If your child wants to know what’s happening, watch a brief update together and help them interpret it.

Afterward, redirect attention to something neutral or soothing — a story, a drawing, or time outside if air quality allows. This helps their nervous system reset instead of staying stuck in a loop of worry.

Be mindful of adult conversations, too. Kids often listen even when they seem absorbed in something else. Save more detailed or emotional discussions for later, away from young ears.

Short, Practical Calming Tools Parents Can Use

In moments of fear, children look for co-regulation — calm energy from an adult they trust. Your steady presence matters more than the perfect words. Try these quick, therapist-tested strategies to help your child’s body and mind relax.

1. The 5-4-3-2-1 Grounding Technique
Ask your child to name:
5 things they see, 4 things they can touch, 3 things they hear, 2 things they smell, and 1 thing they can taste.
This exercise shifts focus from imagined danger to the safety of the present moment.

2. Belly Breathing Together
Place a hand on your stomach and invite your child to do the same. Take a slow breath in through the nose, feeling the belly rise, then exhale slowly through the mouth. Repeat for 30 seconds. Matching your breathing helps their heart rate settle.

3. A “Comfort Kit” for Stressful Moments
Create a small box or bag filled with grounding objects: a soft toy, a calming scent, a favorite photo, and a short written reminder — “I am safe right now.” Keep it accessible during evacuations or smoky days.

At bedtime, a simple ritual — soft music, a favorite book, or gratitude reflections — can help ease lingering tension. Predictability before sleep tells the nervous system that danger has passed.

Rebuilding Routine and Safety in the Days Ahead

When fires subside or conditions improve, it can take time for fear to fade. Returning to normal routines — school, playdates, family meals — is one of the best ways to restore stability.

Let your child talk about the experience at their own pace. Drawing or storytelling can be powerful tools for expression, especially for younger children who may not yet have words for what they feel.

If your child hesitates to separate from you after the fires, introduce independence gradually. Small steps — playing in another room, visiting a friend, or returning to school — rebuild confidence. Acknowledge progress: “You felt scared before, but you went anyway. That was brave.”

Maintaining family rituals like weekend breakfasts or evening walks communicates safety through consistency. The body learns safety through repetition long before the mind catches up.

When to Seek Professional Support?

Some children bounce back quickly once the danger passes; others continue to feel on edge for weeks or even months. Watch for red flags that suggest extra support might help:

• Ongoing nightmares or fear of sleeping alone

• Increased irritability, aggression, or withdrawal

• Regressions such as bed-wetting or separation anxiety

• Frequent physical complaints like headaches or stomachaches

• Persistent worry that another fire will start

If these symptoms last more than a few weeks or interfere with daily functioning, it may be time to reach out for professional help. Trauma-informed therapy can help your child process fear safely, understand their body’s stress responses, and rebuild a sense of trust in their world.

At Calm Again Counseling, we offer child and family therapy, both in-person and online, to help children heal after frightening events. Sessions are gentle, play-based when needed, and designed to restore emotional balance. Parents receive tools to continue supporting their child’s regulation at home.

Helpful Resources and Books

When children can learn through stories, it gives shape to feelings they can’t yet express. The following resources are trusted by trauma specialists and pediatric mental-health organizations:

• “Trinka and Sam: The Big Fire” (from the National Child Traumatic Stress Network) — a free storybook that helps young children process disaster through familiar characters.

• NCTSN Parent Guidelines for Wildfires — practical handouts on talking with kids and coping as a family.

• CDC Wildfire Smoke and Children — clear information on air quality and physical health.

• PBS Kids — Talking to Children About Scary News — helpful for managing media exposure.

Frequently Asked Questions

How do I explain wildfires to my child?
Use simple, truthful language that matches your child’s age. Reassure them that firefighters and helpers are keeping families safe and that your family has a plan.

Should I let my child watch news coverage of the fires?
It’s best to limit exposure. Repeated images can increase fear. If they’re curious, watch a short clip together and answer questions calmly.

How long will my child feel afraid after a wildfire?
Many children feel better once routines resume, though some may stay anxious for several weeks. Consistency and comfort help; seek support if fear lingers.

What are quick calming tools I can use at home?
Grounding (5-4-3-2-1), slow belly breathing, sensory comfort kits, and consistent bedtime rituals all help calm the body and mind.

When should I consider professional therapy?
If anxiety interferes with sleep, appetite, school, or social activities for more than a month, or if your child shows signs of regression, professional therapy can help them recover fully.

Calm Again Counseling: Support for Families

As parents, we can’t control the natural world — but we can shape the emotional world our children grow up in. The compassion and steadiness you offer today will become their sense of safety tomorrow.

At Calm Again Counseling, we work with children and families throughout California, helping them process fear, trauma, and anxiety with warmth and evidence-based care. Whether through one-on-one therapy or parent guidance sessions, we help you create calm again — even when the world feels uncertain.

If your child is still struggling with fear after the fires, reach out for a free 15-minute consultation. Together, we’ll find ways to restore safety, resilience, and peace — for your child and your family.